OkNotSoBadInternetDating

So everyone knows Tinder, eHarmony and other dating apps and a lot of people are complaining about perverts out there. I pretend to be a human not a gnome and started using OkCupid for creating my own opinion on real experience.

for my researching purposes, hue, hue, hue >:D

As a Pretentious Gnomie I love lists, so here’s a list of failures in dating apps:

1. “Hi!” people – oh my God! How stupid that is? How a person can get to know each other, if you starting with “hey”?! With saying greetings like “hi” there comes a great responsibility, you know? After “hi” you suppose to write something more. BE A MAN (or a woman, I don’t judge) and start the fricking conversation!
2. “Hi beauty!” people – ekhm… you’re here only for sex, aren’t you? If you are searching for beautiful girl just for your extra space in bed, go outside, to the bar and voila! Look! You don’t have to wait for her to coming through the ocean for ya! She’s right there! And boi, oh boi! If she agrees, she will go with you to your creepy flat the same night you met! Hurray you creep :D
3. Muslims uuuu, she’s so bad! She’s talking bad about Muslims! How could she?! Because I’m a frickin gnome, deal with it! – okay, let’s be honest. Everybody have the right to be on this website, but sorry, it’s not a good idea to search for an european girl just to marry her and get the european citizenship by typing “you beautiful” to a girl, who has a long as milky way profile and long as 7 Kingdoms from Game of Thrones short description of herself. And why are you searching for an european girl, who won’t for sure wear any scarf on her head?! You creep!
4. Polish boys – you’re mention here for only one reason – WTF? Why are you so weird?! You weird creep!
5. “Can I get your Snapchat?” people – creep alert!
6. “I want to have brats kids!” people – listen. If a woman say she doesn’t want to have kids, she’s a cold Cruella De Vil, run! she magically won’t like them, because of you. If you have in your profile that you want to have kids, then why are you writing to the chick, who doesn’t want them?! Use logic, logic saves lives.
7. “What type of personality from the test by Briggs Myers are you?” – Oh, what type? I’m the “gonna whoop your ass” type :3 Yes, I bring on the Briggs Myers’s test just to make fun of it. Sorry not sorry. I’m a gnome, you can’t measure my personality with human tests, pfff…
8. “What console are you playing on?” – and God forbid, if you say “I have a PC, but it doesn’t matter, ‘cause it’s all about games not gaming platform.”. Oh and the games you play, sometimes it’s matter what are you playing, because reasons. geeky creep
9. Gnomes that pretend to be human and wasting someone’s time.

Generally I didn’t met a single pervert, sooo… wtf? Where are them perverts at? <David Guetta’s music, Flo Rida and Nicki “Young Money” Minaj>

I think, I just did everything every girl should do, to be safe on the Internet:

1. Everyone knows that, but a friendly reminder – don’t give your real home/work address, phone number, Facebook/snapchat, naked photos etc. It’s a big NO. And forget about giving your real name as user’s name.
2. Never speak to anyone, who started with “Hi beauty”, “You’re beautiful!”, “You have really nice smile :)” etc. (unless you want some casual sex, then I don’t judge but I recorded everything for researching purposes). Just delete the conversation once it shows up.
3. Try to get know each other. Just giving complements won’t success in a good relationship.
4. Write a lot about things you like and VERY IMPORTANT even if there’s no field for that, write what you don’t want, like: “I don’t like Star Wars”, “No cats/dogs lover”, “Don’t write just hi”, “No Christians/Muslims/Pastafarians/etc.”, don’t be afraid of “I’m gay/bi/etc.” even if a gnome, like me, don’t understand this concept at all.
5. Don’t take it too quick. Let’s be honest, if we talk for a month now, it’s still really short for a relationship, where you can’t see/touch/smell/do anything together. It takes a lot of patience and time to build such relation.

But I met a lot of nice people there and, even that I’m a heartless gnome, I understand why people are using dating app. It’s a place where you can find even more friends than lovers or future loves, which is cool. And it’s a good place for people, who searches for something concrete. It’s connecting people. I even learned a few new things from people I met. I really recommend this way of communication, if someone is really lonely and can’t find friends in their neighborhood. Just remember to be careful, okay? And don’t be afraid of talking to people, because you always can just log off – disappear, if you don’t like it.

What do you think about dating apps?